i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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