he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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