Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
