So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize