I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
