We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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