I love black thongs
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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