That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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