She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
