sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This is the high leading the old right now
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
