So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
