Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
