Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize