About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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