Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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