I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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