I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
