Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
