You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
