how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Randomize
