Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you didnt know i had herpes?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
