Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
