Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I bet he comes in French.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
