A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
