There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
