Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
