Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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