I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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