where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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