and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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