Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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