It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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