yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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