Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
