Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
