When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
