Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
