You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize