Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
