Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
