Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
