i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
false alarm, still single
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