he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I understand Curling. That high.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
