Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
