think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
