So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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