so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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