Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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