if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
