I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize