i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize