Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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