Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
