I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
