How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize