He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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