he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize