my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
